Nail Polish or Nail Punching?

I have this awful habit of wanting to paint my nails in the most inconvenient and inopportune times, when I’m doing laundry or fixing dinner… or both.


Even though I have a very intelligent dog, who knocks the door if he wants to go out, asks for his treat when he’s done playing and follows you around when he wants to take a walk, it doesn’t matter how much I’ve tried, Buono hasn’t achieved the ability to use nail polish remover on my nails… I think the matter gets too complicated for him when the cotton needs to be soaked instead of eaten, as he always prefers to do.

Other thing that plays against me (besides my lack of patience for a proper dry) is the fact that I rebel in my color choice. My husband always wants me to use the light pink, white, creamy color… and my picking is always into the reds, purples, blues, and browns... the more exciting colors.

So my last (and only) resource ends being my husband, who with his huge patience, sits me on the toilet seat, grabs the cotton, soaks it into the remover and tries to fix my nails.

Since men don’t understand the science involved into the process of polish removing, and the acute potency of the liquid, force is their only explanation, so they think that by pushing and sliding the cotton hard onto your nails, the polish would be removed sooner… rather than later, and all this for the sake of me don’t forgetting that it’s my husband who’s doing this girly task.

I imagine while he’s crushing my finger and trying to remove the dark purple polish, he’s thinking: “why did I agree to do this?”… At the same time, the polish tarnishes his fingers, so he has to resource to compulsively wash his hands to remove the purplish color.

So there I was, sitting on the toilet, wringing under his strength, trying not to show him that my poor little nail only wanted a nice finished polish, not a badly beaten one.

I’m probably ending with a purple spot on my fingernail; I might even decide to wear it “nude”, because the bruise would match my dark purple polish any way.

I’m definitely training my dog harder for this task, at least he seems to enjoy the process of eating the cotton and jumping around me, without any harm coming to my poor little nails.