Shoe-icide

My feet are killing me.

I just returned from work and even though I’m wearing flats I still feel like my toes and nails are screaming to get out of dodge.

It’s amazing what a bad inheritance does to your lifestyle.
Instead of being graced with my mother’s thin, narrow feet, I get stuck with my father’s “empanada style” lower extremities.

Having a messed-up base for my contexture in direct contact with the ground makes it almost impossible for me to walk charmingly as a model… not that I have the body (nor the feet for that matter) to achieve this, but as a woman, it’s a must have necessity to present yourself with grace while walking.

My husband knows not to push or criticize neither my posture nor my walking, however, he sometimes asks me to wear these uncomfortable high heels that destroy my feet beyond recognition.

No pedicure can sustain the amount of stress my nails endure daily, and sometimes I find myself polishing them several times a week to beautify them in a futile effort to make them look presentable.
The sole of my feet suffer as well, and sometimes I have to really be on top of them not to develop a second pair of shoes on them as well.

The only characteristic that my feet offer, which saves them from exile, is that the sizes of my toes are perfectly even between each other.
The longest one if my big toe, and the smallest one it’s my pinkie toe.
This feature is a rarity in female foots where sometimes the middle toe is the longest one… but my mother’s genes took a pity on me and at least, they grazed me with that attribute.

So here I am: feet over head in my couch, my husband looks at me from his peripheral vision and makes a smirk; I’m sure he’s laughing on the inside.. My feet, on the other hand, are full-on, completely careless, free as birds, laughing on the outside.

Good bye flats, hello socks!

Heels and winter… not a good combination

Cold weather is here, and with it, came the snow, the morning dew turn to ice, and my increased inability to walk in heels from my car to the office.

13 steps a day that seems like the longest running track with difficult obstacles, when in reality it’s just the sidewalk, some pavement, and the door… but, the obstacles are the worse: wind, ice and snow.

Heels and me have a long lasting relationship going on… sometimes I decide to leave them and stick with my comfy flats, but since I occupy a responsible position in a company, I cannot show to work dressed as a student, so I try to befriend my shoes and accept their high heels and their pointy toes.

Designers never thought on women’s feet when they came up with the idea of heels… less in winter and the added difficulty to wear them… because if they would have had, round toes and flat shoes will be the latest fashion and everyone will be wearing them, specially on this time of the year.

But, we’re stuck with boots that are too tight and too high for my flat, square feet, and the matter that I don’t have an arch, doesn’t help the matter.

So every morning, I turn off my car, switch my tennis shoes for my high heel boots and try to walk, without falling on my butt in a spectacular fashion in front of every co-worker… most of the times I manage it by doing the process really slowly, like a 1-year-old kid that’s just learning to walk.

This strategy works to perfection, and when it doesn’t, I just pray that my pants aren’t damaged after my stumble, or that my heels are still intact, and then… I consider my body parts:

-          Ankles… check, no broken bones there

-          Butt… sore, but intact

-          Hands… no scratches

-          Shame… growing by the minute

Is on this days were I pray for winter to be over and summer to come back with its scorching hot days… too bad that the nightmare is barely starting.