The roundness of the wine, the square of its taste, the line of its smell

My husband and me had a business/pleasure dinner yesterday in a restaurant called Marea, just across the Central Park.

My husband has been teaching me to become a social drinker since we first started dating. 

I can now enjoy a glass of wine without tripping on my way to the bathroom… I used to have zero alcohol tolerance.

However, even though I can now attest to being a social drinker, I still lack the sophisticated palate to discern a bad grape juice from a refined wine.

We have an inside joke (that only I can do in public) when the Maitre d’ comes to our table for the first wine pouring. My husband had just ordered a Barolo wine, and when the waiter poured it for us, I imitated my big sister (who supposedly did a wine tasting course herself), by:

1.       Grabbing my wine glasses

2.       Swirl  the wine around the glass

3.       Put it against the light to see the thickness or darkness of the liquid

4.       Sip the liquid into my mouth and twirl it with my tongue to get the best flavors in.

And then, I start saying how 'round' it is, how the ‘squareness’ of the smells explode on my nose and my tongue can perceive the 'straight line' of its taste. 

How the taste of the wine it’s like a 'pentagon' (since it can’t possibly be just, simple, old wine) with a flowery scent.

I can come up with a lot of geometrical shapes to meet the wine’s character… I’m just that good!!

If you’ve ever witnessed an 'expert' doing a wine tasting, you know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you’ve seen my sister, then you can picture how ridiculous it looks to me, since I've never done a wine tasting course . 

I'm merely a social drinker with no palate, but sans course and all, I manage to look as ridiculous as her... for free!