Naughty or Nice neighbor? (check the list twice!!)

The apartment we live in is a Cooperative (Co-op as the new yorkers refer as); this means that every resident in over 600 apartments that the building has, is entitled to a voice and vote in every matter... and I mean: EVERY single matter.

Yesterday we had the "pleasure" to share the common area in our building with over 375 people complaining about their neighbor, or the smoking of their neighbor, or the fact that they don't want flowers in the aisles, or the smoking of their neighbor, or to change the energy supply method, or the smoking of their neighbor, or the dog/cat/bird/stuffed animal of their neighbor; and of course: The smoking of their neighbor (How could we forget!!)

You are in your own home, it's 40 F outside (like -2 C), it's snowing, you have your windows open wide, your head stuck outside with a high risk of brain freeze or permanent damage to it... and you are smoking a cigarette, peacefully after work, enjoying the quiet time of your home... when suddenly your doorbell sounds and you hurry to put the cigarette down, start swatting at the air around you for the smoke to disperse, close the window hurriedly and run to the door; and when you open, is your 70 year old neighbor that lives down the hall (like 4 doors down) in the top floor (not even in yours!) and asks you very politely to: "please put the f... cigarette down" (he's a mean 70 year old guy; not like those sweet loving ancient people) and while you're at it: "please stop hearing the music so loud at this time of the night (it's 7 pm), don't you have any respect?" and "your dog was barking all day while you were out" (you don't have a pet), and: "you shower at such an early time that he hears it like it was just next to him" (you shower every day at 7:20 am), and: "please stop cooking meat all the time, I can't stand that awful smell" (meat? you're a vegetarian).

So here's how it works if you live in a building like ours: You bought a place, it is completely yours, your own piece of the world, just for you... the only place called home, where you can be yourself, do what you please... well, as long as it's legal, or the building approves it, and it doesn't bother you neighbor...whichever neighbor that lives within 1,000 feet from your home: top floor, down floor or your floor (roughly 100 people), you can't have a pet that barks, so no dogs, if they sing neither, so no birds... cats you don't like. You can't hear the music you like when you like it; your neighbors might not like the same style (try opera, jazz or classical music). When you do laundry in the common area, forget about using bleach, it's not good for your neighbor in 14C because she has allergies (how did she managed to know every time?!) If you get a girlfriend/boyfriend; forget spontaneity!! you are not going to get any outside of a schedule... and the only open time (for you and your neighbors) it's friday 1:23 pm (so, you either produce money or have a nice relationship, you can't have both!!)

So people, my advice: move to New Jersey!